Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt's Divorce Is a Call For Compassion Not Criticism
By Chris Nash, Director & Mentorship Coach, Lighthouse International
One of the first things that we do unconsciously when it comes to legends is we treat them as if they are superhuman, as people who don’t struggle, who somehow have it easier and don’t have to deal with the everyday challenges that you or I may have to go through. This is very unrealistic and unfair. What is more real is that they do have very similar challenges to you and I in many many ways.
This has been shown in the very public divorce proceedings of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt.
The long and the short of it is that whatever you have read in the press and whoever is supposedly to blame - it always takes two to tango. They will both be hurting immensely, they are human and when you cut them they bleed. Having been through a divorce myself I know this only too well. In the name of making them 'gods', we so often forget that legends are human too and we then criticise them when they fall. There is in actual fact, a huge amount that we can learn from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt by stepping out of the stories of 'who did what'... and instead, seeing it from a more empathic and human perspective.
Whether a legend or not, no-one goes into a marriage to get divorced, especially when there are children involved. We have previously written on the Legends Report about what good role models they are as a couple and as a family, so is that all wrong now - because they are separating?
What is most important is that while things were working well, they were choosing to live by certain timeless and enduring principles that govern happy and healthy relationships. The breakup of the marriage was caused to a greater or lesser degree by a consistent violation of these. Very simply they stopped doing what worked!
Indeed, if you were to break yourself against the law of gravity by jumping off a 5 story building, you would really feel the consequences! How often do we all do this? We start a new exercise regime and then slip and become complacent when we have achieved a few good results. The same so often happens in relationships, we take things for granted and stop doing the work that helped us to create a healthy relationship in the first place.
There is as much and probably even more to learn, from where legends and where we ourselves have failed... as there is from where they and we succeed. So rather than looking at this situation with judgement, let us find empathy for this family who will all be heartbroken.
The key to any healthy relationship is having enough self-care and love for ourselves, so that we are not constantly looking for the other person to fill the empty feelings we may feel inside. Relationships thrive when both people are able to give to each other, not constantly looking to get from each other. We need to learn the fundamental principles of living an effective life and in tandem, the strong values and discipline required in order to secure meaningful, intimate and enduring relationships.
As you can see, even though the grass may appear greener on the other side, it often isn’t, even in Hollywood! So, no matter who we are, what we have and who we are with, we are all bound by the same rules of life… so it is certainly worth getting to know them, and then learning how to live by them a little bit more every single day!